Stupid story

She was standing there. With her teddy-bear in her arms, tears on her face and emptiness in her soul. She tought she will face that day, but she failed.
< Look at the beautiful sky, feel the wind runnin' through you hair and listen to me when I'm tellin' you that everything's gonna be ok. >
A smile came on her face, she stopped cryin' and hugged harder her teddy-bear.

Stubborn

I didn't want to belive that. I was fucking scared. Still have that feeling in me, but not the same how I was few weeks ago. Why I didn't want to belive what everyone was tellin' me? Ahh I'm too stubborn.

Long road

Sometimes you have to remember from where you go.

Sensitive

They tell me I'm sensitive....
Yes, I am sensitive at all of that bullshit they talk!

You can't simply get rid of some thoughts.

They're still stuck in your mind. No matter what you do, where you are, what are you doing. You're trying and trying and still trying.
You just can't.

As you say

And of course you don't understand. As you say, is not the same situation.

Yes, you are fucking right, it ain't. 

You simply can't understand of what is someone going trough. 

And try to fucking think, when I refer to general stuffs, I'm talkin' about the present and also about the past!

Sweet November

Stele pe cer, luna acoperita de nori, fum de tigara. Imbratisari, imbarbatari, cantece vechi.

Lacrimi in ochii mei, zambet pe buze. Mainile reci, corpul relaxat. 

Another day

Tryin to be completely relaxed. It's dark. Can't see anything. The curtains are closed. I'm sittin' in my bed. Away from everyone, from everything. I close my eyes. I'm thinking. I start to cry. Times passes so fast. I open my eyes. Sunlight pass trough the curtains. Another awful day to start. Another complains. I close my eyes back. I wonder...

1 minute

..and everything could be messed up.
You're tellin' yourself that next time you'll not going to do that again. But, damn , it happened now and nothing ain't change it. It's not fair.
It's a fucking minute! < I'd better leave it >, you're repetin' this words in your mind for a whole hour.

An Autumn Day..

10:13 AM Frig, frig, frig. Caut prin dulap fularul meu calduros, iar in acelasi timp gandindu-ma unde mi-am pus manusile cu degetele taiate, abia recuperate de la prietena mea.
*Peste jumatate ora* Imi aduc aminte ca manusile le-am pus pe birou, ma duc sa vad daca sunt acolo. Nici urma de ele. Ma enervez. O strig pe mama, poate le-a luat ea, dar ce ar face ea cu o pereche de manusi fara degete?
In timp ce eram in casa in dreptul geamului si strigam dupa mama, ma uit fara niciun motiv pe geam. Observ pe sarma perechea mea de manusi gri fara degete.. <Ow, manusile mele, ce cautati acolo?> ma intreb. Apoi vine explicatia de la mama, "pentru ca am crezut ca vrei sa le spal si le-am pus la spalat".
Perfect, urasc momentele cand imi umbla prin lucruri. Cel mai enervant e atunci cand incepe sa si arunce diferite lucruri care i se par de aruncat. Hmm, las deoparte gandul acesta. In final am gasit si fularul.
Imi pregatesc geanta, ma incalt, apoi imi pun haina impreuna cu fularul si manusile gasite si plec.
Vreme trista, oamenii care nu se obosesc sa se mai uite in jurul lor mergand cu privirea fixata in jos. Imi pun castile in urechi. "I could watch you for a life time".. simt parfumul tau, in timp ce fixam volumul la mp3 imi ridic privirea si ma uit in jur. Ah, doar mi s-a parut. In cap deja am  mii de momente. Imi continui drumul.
13:02 PM Liceu, 7 ore, mult de lucru.
7:45 PM Astept cu nerabdare, alaturi de colega mea de banca, sa o vad pe profesoara iesita din clasa. Desenez la sfaristul caietului o girafa zambitaore cu ochi mici (tipic).
8:17 PM Stele. Fum. Nas inghetat. "O noapte mai lunga". Imi caut prin ghiozdan, plin de o gramada de lucruri care nu isi au rostul, manusile. Incerc sa ma gandesc la faptul ca mai am putin si ajung acasa. Fredonez in soapta melodia care o ascult. Awiiieee, o pisica sta si se joaca cu o frunza galbena abia cazuta din copac. Ma opresc pentru cateva minute si ma joc cu pisica. Realizez ca au trecut 10 minute, ma opresc din jucat si imi vad de drum. Ajung acasa. Imi pun cereale si lapte in cana si ma retrag in camera mea si ma apuc de scris.
01:04 PM Ma uit la ceas. Wow, cand a trecut asa repede timpul? Inchid caietele, cartile, strang fisele si incerc sa le gasesc un loc in dezordinea de pe birou. Duc la bucatarie cana cu cereale, apoi revin in camera. Sting lumina, ma asez in pat, ma uit in gol. Oftez, "alta zi". Inchid ochii si incerc sa adorm.

Nu intelegi?

Chiar nu intelegi ca un "NU" ramane un "NU" pana la capat?
Chiar nu intelegi ca fiecare din noi avem nevoi speciale?
Chiar nu intelegi ca din moment ce am spus un lucru, asa ramane?
Chiar nu intelegi ca incerc sa fiu mereu la timp pentru tot?
Chiar nu intelegi ca vreau si eu la un moment dat timp pentru mine?
Chiar nu intelegi ca pot sa fac ce imi propun?
Chiar nu intelegi ca incerc sa ajut pe toata lumea?
Chiar nu intelegi ca stiu si eu sa ma descurc?
Tu chiar nu intelegi ...?

Now I know that

Now I know. I'm just an option or someone who you use when you need something. Need me, ask me and then let me there standing like a fool and waiting for something that never comes.
This is how I felt today. But you know something? I'll be the one who will fuckin' laugh in the end. You may not belive me, but I'll try to give the best of me, I won't give a damn about you.

Every fuckin' time

Every fucking time it happens. You just want to say something, you have so many ideas in your head, but when you are face to face with the action, you just can't. You're trying so hard to remember what you said before, what were you thinking at, but nothing's how it was.
And this ain't happens just once, you try to tell yourself that you won't do that anymore, but who the fuck listens? Your heart and brain tells you the same thing, go ahead and say/do it.
Sometimes is shitty and you realize that after a little period 'cause you hurt someone, but somehow still doesn't matter for most of  them.

Place, people, flowers

Until the massive result it's a long road.(Nu imi placea cum suna in romana, asa ca am hotarat sa scriu in engleza).
Lumea care va veni, locul, ora, ziua, florile care le vei avea, muzica ce va fi pusa, culoarea papionului pe care il vei purta sau poate cravata si sa nu uitam, inele de logodna.Pentru a fi o zi speciala trebuie sa ai grija de tot pana la cel mai mic detaliu.
Insa primul loc ocupat pe lista grijilor sunt acele obiecte de dimensiune destul de mica, din argint, aur galben sau alb, cu diferite marimi pe care toata lumea le numeste verighete. E destul de jenant sa fii la locul respectiv si cand vine acel moment sa te cauti in toate buzunarele costumului, apoi sa constati ca nu le ai.
Aceasta zi speciala va veni pentru fiecare, rabdarea e cuvantul cheie.

No ideea for title

Pentru orice lucru exita mereu un moment prielnic

Quitting?...Never

Deeply I am totaly fucked, but still have the power to walkin' with my face up. It's hard, but the final results will be massive. You said, 'it's just a test'. I fucking hate tests, but this one is different.
Just few days, I can pass it. I know that and I'm pretty sure you will do too. Stay strong, focus on your work, have fun when you're tierd, smile when you're sad, think of those times and don't get upset on anyone.
Our day will come soon!

People

Created, growing, analyzing, trying to survive, again analyzing, dying without any results of analyzing.
Huh, what's the point? I'm not that kind of person obsessed of this. I was just hearing some shit that someone was talking about and i started to wonder.
Anyway, still why? We like to update everything, to change everything, to investigate every piece of Earth for what ?

Not again

Uh, the first weekend since school started, a little boring. Tomorrow's monday, totaly "excited".

My room is a total mess. Workpapers, books, notebooks and again workpapers. Few cups of coffe or glasses forgotten during the week on my desk or near my bed, my headphones on the floor and the school bag on the floor, too. Taking a look on my desk and wondering when those thing gathered so much.

Hmm, the only answer is that school started, bleah.
During the classes thinking about weekends, in weekend havin' fun then wishing that tomorrow isn't monday, pretty awesome.... not.

Untitled

I've been expecting this weekend so much and... and I can't enjoy it. Why? Stupid question leave me alone. But that never dissapear if I tell myself this. Anyway... weekend, yeah, SHIT!.

Peace.....not

It's not so fucking easy trying to keep the peace.